The Florida Bar
FAMILY LAW SECTION
COMMENTATOR
Anya Cintron Stern, Esq. – Editor
Winter 2020
Volume XXXIV, No. 2
21
Family Law Commentator Winter 2020
Why Hire a Divorce Coach?
By Jennifer Medwin
Getting divorced is an
emotionally charged
process that can be
time consuming and
challenging. Many
people overlook the
impact feelings have on
the divorce process and
the importance of having
the necessary professional support. Emotional
overwhelm is felt by several individuals
contemplating the dissolution of marriage.
Duringthistime,peoplendthemselves
plaguedbyintensefeelingsthataredicultto
manageandcanhaveaprofoundeectontheir
ability to think and act rationally. The powerful
sense of overwhelm leads to costly emotional
andnancialmistakesindivorce,which
have long-term consequences for all parties
involved. This is one of the many reasons that
in 2013, the American Bar Association added
Divorce Coaching to its list of alternative
dispute resolution methods. Together, divorce
coaches work alongside the other members of
a client’s professional team to provide the best
possible outcomes regarding the dissolution of
marriage.
AsdenedbytheAmericanBarAssociation,
“Divorcecoachingisaexible,goal-oriented
process designed to support, motivate, and
guide people going through divorce to help
them make the best possible decision for their
future based on their particular interests, needs,
and concerns.”* Family Law attorneys who
partner with divorce coaches say that they are
abletousetheirtimemoreecientlybecause
thedivorcecoachesoernon-legalservices
like walking clients through the practicalities
of divorce and providing emotional support to
the client, which allow the attorneys to focus
on their area of expertise, the law. Accountants
similarly agree that divorce coaches assist
clientsingatheringandorganizingnancial
information, which saves them a lot of time and
creates more informed clients thus allowing
themtofocusmorediligentlyonthenancial
aspect of divorce.
Thereareseveralbenetsforindividuals
getting divorced to work with a divorce coach:
A Divorce Coach creates a nonjudgmental
partnership.
-Clients work with an unbiased advocate
and experienced coach who is the client’s
voice of reason and who fosters resiliency
in the clients through self-discovery
-Clients acquire a professional to assist
them in managing the divorce process and
supporting them through the challenging
events
-Clients gain a sounding board and thinking
partner
-Clients do not feel alone and have
someone on their side that they can
brainstorm ideas with
-The coach is there to celebrate the client’s
successes and capabilities for future
growth.
-The coach assists in managing clients’
expectations and educating them about
the process of divorce such as clarifying
thedierentoptionstodissolveamarriage
anddiscussingthemostecientways
of obtaining and completing needed
documents; and
continued, page 24
24
Family Law Commentator Winter 2020
-The coach assists the client in creating a
strong team of professionals.
A Divorce Coach enhances the client’s
organizational skills.
-Coaches tailor a forward-looking, goal-
oriented, step-by-step process for clients
which is based on bridging the gap
between where they are and where they
want to be
-Coaches guide individuals as they sort
through and organize their thoughts and
documents needed by attorneys and
accountants
-Coaches help clients clarify what is
important in divorce and assist them in
understanding and avoiding the common
pitfalls such as short sightedness, letting
emotions take control, seeing only one
piece, lacking compromise, desire for
revenge, overusing a divorce lawyer,
allowing family and friends to have too
much control, and forgetting about the
children’s best interest
-Coachesencourageclientstodeneand
redenetheirpersonalgoalstodevisea
strategytoempowerthemandfullltheir
desires post-divorce; and
-Coaches often attend professional
meetings with their clients to assist in
moving things along in a productive and
healthy manner.
A Divorce Coach provides emotional
support.
-Coaches prepare clients mentally for
the waves of emotion that might be
experienced
-Coaches assist in building up their client’s
resiliency to dealing with unexpected
issues
-Coaches help clients develop a sense of
control during a challenging time when
many feel their lives are coming apart at the
seams
-Coaches create a safe, calm, and
groundingplaceforclientsduringadicult
time
-Coaches help to build and strengthen their
client’s skills to cope with their emotions
andminimizeconict
-Coaches encourage clients to break free
from their feelings of victimhood and to
show up as their best selves
-Coaches help to structure self-care plans
for their clients so they are energized to
move forward and take action; and
-Coaches assist clients in developing a
plan on how to tell the children about the
upcoming family changes.
A Divorce Coach improves communication
skills:
-Clients learn to make and express more
informed and less emotional decisions
-Coaches help to create credible and
ecientclientswhoaremoreeective
communicators so they can be heard and
be a full participant in their divorce process
-Coaches help clients negotiate for their
future by implementing conscious thought
and intentional decision-making; and
-Coaches assist in lowering the cost of
attorney fees because the client has moved
beyond the story and is prepared for the
business of divorce.
Divorce coaches prepare clients, one step
at a time, to turn the emotional side of divorce
into the business of divorce. It is a time when
many clients experience a gap between where
they are and where they want to be. With the
guidance of a divorce coach, clients work
Why Hire A Divorce Coach?
CONTINUED, FROM PAGE 21
25
Family Law Commentator Winter 2020
through the fears and obstacles keeping them
stuck, develop a strategic roadmap for their
divorce, have help organizing for the process,
and learn skills necessary to negotiate and
eectivelycommunicatetheirneeds,wants,
and desires without being hijacked by their
emotions. The goal is to help the clients show
upastheirbestself,navigateecientlythrough
the divorce process, gain insight, and create
alifevisionforthemselvesbasedonspecic
intensions.
*https://www.americanbar.org/groups/dispute_
resolution/resources/DisputeResolutionProcesses/
divorce_coaching/ (September 10, 2019)
Jennifer Warren Medwin is the founder
of Seeking Empowerment: Clarity through
Partnership, LLC in Pinecrest, Miami. She is a
CDC Certied Divorce Coach. Jennifer specializes
in working alongside individuals contemplating
divorce, those already engaged in the divorce
process, and those involved in the post-divorce
process who are fearful of high conict. She
partners with clients to develop the clarity,
condence, courage, and communication skills
needed to navigate the dissolution of their
marriage. Jennifer is also a Supreme Court
of Florida Family Mediator. She uses her life
experience and her formal training in mediation
and coaching to help her clients emotionally
prepare for divorce in the most organized, time
ecient, and productive manner. Additionally,
Jennifer is a member of the National Association
of Divorce Professionals (NADP). Her approach to
divorce coaching is one that provides clients with
guidance and compassion through a challenging
time in their lives.
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